Is love enough to survive on?

All our lives, we usually go through these feelings of love; whether it is the love of your parents, siblings, spouses, children and friends. How many times do we really take time to let these important people in our life know that we love them?

Usually the thought is always at the back of the mind; of course I do love my parents, spouses, siblings etc!!! Why should I explicitly tell them about it? They obviously know that!

But it is essential you do tell them. In the entire spectrum of our lives we are so focussed on what we want, that we simply cease to have any time to tell our loved ones how much they mean to us. It is a good feeling to know to that you are being loved and cherished. Just as you like this feeling, your loved ones around you also like it and need to feel it.

Again, its not as if its enough to just say that you love them. Your actions should prove that you do! I can keep saying 'I love you' to my loved ones till it becomes a habit and I say it mechanically. But what will definitely get the point across is my actions. Do my actions actually match my words?

If I keep saying I love you but don't spare any time for them, don't take time to listen to them, hear them out, what are my loved ones going to do with those words?

They say actions speak louder than words and yes they do! You don't have to go out of the way to completely change yourself, believe me, the last thing a loved one would want is to change you. They love you the way you are, but what they want is an assurance that you reciprocate the feelings; not the words but the feelings!

Relationships are like plants, they will wither away if not given enough attention. You need to tend to your relationship the way you tend to your prized plants. Your nurture them, you cherish them, and you show how much you love them and this is not a onetime effort, it has to be continuous!

Remember, we all get to live only once. Its better to have loved and cherished and show your loved ones you care every day, else who knows you may never get the opportunity and you will only be left with regrets!

To be or not to be

"To be or not to be" is the most famous Shakespearean quote. Personally, the way I interpret this is that its upto to us to be whatever we want to be in life. Life is full of promises, shocks, surprises and disappointments. Its up to us to choose to be happy in spite of disappointments, positive in spite of shocks, down to earth in spite of surprises!

So if you want something very badly and you were given a choice: 1. You might not get it or 2. You might get more than you can handle, which one will you choose for? Will you be happy that you didn't get something that you can't handle or will you be sad that you didn't get it at all?

To be honest, I really didn't know how to feel when I was posed this question. I was scared that I might get something I will not be handle, and I was also worried that I may not get what I wanted. Eventually I didn't get what I wanted badly. I was a little upset, but decided that we can't always have the cake and eat it too. I can only things that I want badly enough at any cost.

We can't put conditions on things we want. Materialistic things, yes maybe, but not on emotions or things beyond our control. Thats how life works. At this point, I just decided to keep my cool and thought, 'God always gives you things you need rather than what you want.' So maybe the thing that I wanted is not something God thinks I need.
He is after a better judge of how the whole life thing works, so why worry my head over it.

The only thing in my control is to be happy and positive about things. Coz what is the point in feeling sulky or depressed about things you can't change or do anything about. Here's where the part of fate/destiny comes in to play. If you are destined for something you will get it. Else its not in your fate to get it.

But fate/destiny makes me wonder about the famous SRK dialogue from OSO 'kisi cheez ko agar dil se chaho to puri duniya ki kayanat usko tumse milane mein judd jaati hai.' When you want something badly enough, all the forces in the universe work towards getting you towards your goal. So I guess there is some hope after all. :-)
I might just land up getting something I want provided I want it badly enough!

Cheers to be optimistic and positive in life!

Women's Day!!!!

Wow, its women's day today!!!! To be honest I really don't understand the point of these so called days. Is it only one day that we should celebrate being a woman? For me, I think we should celebrate it everyday.



But the real point is, is it really worth celebrating? Do we really understand the true meaning of being a woman? I liked Shobha De's article in the Times for the same occasion. Women's Day seems to be only for those higher middle class to the elite class of our society. What about the other women? If I wish my maid a Happy Women's Day, will she understand the significance of it? Even if she does understand, will it make any difference to her present life?

Her life is what you would call a typical hindi movie scenario. Only working person, drunkard for a husband who spends all her hard-earned money, 2 children studying in school which means the entire burden of a family is on her shoulders. Can she really understand what does women's lib mean? Does she even care to understand? She has been brought up to accept whatever life throws at her including a drunk and abusive husband and she can see no alternative in her life.

Which brings me to the point, why are we brought up like this? Why do our mothers insist on learning skills required for a being a good wife? Is there a similar tutorial for a being a good husband? NO!!! Why, coz Men think they are perfect! Why aren't men taught how to cook and keep their wives satisfied? Why is marriage like a agreement to slave for your husbands and families forever?



Who decided that women should only be in the kitchen? Who gave them the right to decide this? Is it bcoz our ancestors that women are much better human beings than men and decided to keep them from growing so that they will always be subdued? So that man doesn't lose his importance?


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I don't want to a feminist. I don't think that men are worthless or less important then women; but that said I believe that women should also be given the due importance. Marriage, family, society: all these institutions should be based companionship and compassion not necesarily equality. I feel that I as a woman should be given the same choices as a man. I want to make choices and not feel guilty about them. I don't want to be stereotyped. I want to create my own path.

Somewhere down the line, we are also responsible for the attitude of men towards our gender. Why are we putting up with all this? Why should we feel guilty if we don't cook for our families one day? Or why do we feel bad about enjoying with our friends once in a while?



I think as women, we ourselves should change our mindsets towards our life and growth. I don't mean to say shrug off responsibilities and just enjoy your life. I would like that, that responsibility must be a choice that I have taken and not forced upon me. Until we do so, we will never be able to celebrate this day properly in the truest of sense.

Professionalism at Work

Just wanted to vent my feelings.... I am a trainer and have been a trainee myself. While I empathize with the fact that trainings always made me sleepy and I did think it was too much to be sitting in one place for such a long time, I was always professional about it.

I always respected my trainer and tried my best to pay attention in class. Even when I was so sleepy, I would try my best to stay awake and give my best in class. This stems from the fact that its a person there in front of you, who is trying her / his best to teach you something.

They have put in so much of effort in getting the material, and its a huge effort on their end to keep the trainees engaged in the training.

But the newer batches of people who are getting trained have no respect for the trainers and the effort that they put in. The ability to provide feedback has shifted from providing constructive feedback to plain criticizing without understanding the efforts that the trainers are putting in on a training.

Or they just think its fine to sleep in class or just fool around and disrupt the entire class. Even the ones who want to learn are not learning because of these few people who disrupt. Do they think the trainer does not get hurt by these things? Do they think just because we are training them, we are their slaves? To treat anyhow they want to?

This hurts!!! Especially when we are trying our best.... Can't people see we are working hard, sacrificing our personal lives and spaces to come up with trainings for them?!!!

Just wanted to write about this and make myself feel better. I think this relates back to what Jessie said in her blog about women not appreciating other woman's choices. But here I think its also about people not appreciating your efforts, not just women or men!!!

Keep in mind that the person who is training you is not perfect, he/she is also human and liable to make mistakes. We need to critique the training style but not the person. Trainers also bleed when cut!!!!!!!!!!!!